Change: My Last Moments With Fred Weasley
by Bubbly-Weasley-Girl2
Summary: I am Fred Weasley's girlfriend, and we are separated during the Battle of Hogwarts.  A journal entry written several hours after I find out my boyfriend is dead, remembering my last moments with Fred Weasley. I know its a bit cheesy, but I was venting PPD


**Change**

_Summary: I am Fred Weasley's girlfriend, and we always had a special kind of unspoken chemistry, so during the Battle of Hogwarts, I get a sick feeling that something isn't right after something that feels like an explosion rocks the castle. I have yet to realize just how not right things are until after I run to the Great Hall, and my resulting grief at the realization that the love of my life is dead on the floor. My journal entry I write several hours afterward. I know it's cheesy but hey, I was venting my feelings from the Post-Fred and Post-Potter Depression(yes, they are real), so just try and cope with it, it's my first fic._

I have just Apparated back into my flat just outside of Ottery St. Catchpole, after the final battle against You-Know…..Voldemort at Hogwarts. How weird it is to be able to say his name now without fear. I went into the battle worried, and slightly frightened, but I felt whole inside because I knew I would have my boyfriend Fred Weasley fighting side by side with me for the entire thing. But as wars sometimes go, all of the confusion and action of the battle separated us. I was worried for the love of my life's safety, but as the battle went on, I still felt whole, and alive, and that I would be able to smile and laugh even more after this battle was over, so I knew that my Fred was still alive. Besides, his brother George was with him, I knew that they would watch out for each other. Two sets of eyes fighting Death Eaters are better than one, as they say. But a few hours after we got separated, I felt the castle shake, as if there had been some sort of explosion. As it happened, I felt a peculiar sensation in the pit of my stomach, and in my heart, as if part of me had died, or had been ripped out of my body. Part of me thought I was imagining it, so I continued to fight. But as I hit a werewolf known as Fenrir Greyback with a Full Body-Bind jinx, my mind was telling me that something was very off. As…. Voldemort's…. voice echoed throughout the grounds, the battle ceased momentarily as the entire castle stopped to listen.

"You have fought valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured."

He may have spoken to Harry about meeting him in the Forbidden Forest to confront his fate, but I missed most of it, I was too busy sprinting as fast as I could to the Great Hall. My mind was telling me that Fred, MY Fred, was gone. But I didn't cry. I was in denial and total shock that my mind could be telling me such a horrible and terrifying thought. But as I ran into the Great Hall, I saw so many witches and wizards, lying pale on the ground, or just barely able to even sit up as Madam Pomfrey and Professor Slughorn attempted to tend their wounds. But I wasn't able to make out their faces, I was looking for my redheaded boyfriend and his brother, so I could jump into Fred's arms and this horrible feeling in my stomach would go away, and I would know I was just imagining the emptiness in my stomach. But as I saw the redheaded family I loved so much, I knew something was extremely wrong. They were all crying, and as I peered around their embracing family members, my worst fears had been confirmed.

A tall, muscular, redheaded boy that could only be my Fred, was lying on the floor, pale and seemingly asleep in the middle of the room. The shocking realization crashed down on me, that the horrible feeling I'd had when the castle shook was not in my imagination. As I saw the love of my life lying on the floor, it was all just too much for me, and I collapsed on his muscular, unmoving chest, my own shaking with sobs as I broke down in hysterics on my boyfriend. I could feel his family around me, I could feel their own pain and anguish as they surrounded him. George was kneeling at his head, and in all my years of knowing him, I had never seen George Weasley cry. I had seen him with tears on his face, but they had always been tears of laughter at a joke that he and his Partner in Crime, Fred, had just pulled on an unsuspecting 1st year, or Percy or Ron. After I sobbed my heart-or what was left of it- out, and the battle began again, while one may think that I would rejoin the battle and kill as many Death Eaters as I could, and unleash all my pain and hatred on those who had taken my Fred from me, I remained where I was, at Fred's side. The Great Hall had its doors closed to prevent the fallen from further harm, and to protect the injured from further casualties. I sat up, but stayed where I was, at Fred's side. I held his now pale hand as its warmth faded, and ran my fingers through his hair, with silent tears cascading down my face. I let my eyes run over his perfect face, drinking in every last beautiful detail.

His long eyelashes over his closed lids, the smile lines still etched on the sides of his eyes, and his lips, his perfect lips I had kissed so many times at The Burrow, in the Gryffindor common room, in the back of the room at Potions class, after the D.A. sessions in the Room of Requirement, at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade after drinking a big mug of butterbeer. So many memories came rushing back to me as I moved my eyes up and down the rest of him, his muscular arm around me for the first time at the lake 2 summers ago, his strong, warm hand in mine as he showed me around his and George's new joke shop in Diagon Alley for the first time, his perfect Quidditch body as he and Ginny and I beat his other brothers in a friendly competition at the Burrow last summer. Everything about him was so perfect, I started to cry a bit harder, as the realization came over me that I would never see him smile again, never steal a kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas, never feel his arms around me in one of his famous hugs when I was crying, never hear him laugh again, never feel his hazel eyes pierce my own, and feel that unspoken connection between us as we sat on opposite sides of a room. No one had ever understood me like Fred had. No one could ever make me laugh like Fred could. As this all dawned on me, I began to sob again. This time I was beyond hysterics, and I didn't bother holding back as my tears fell and landed on his pale cheeks and I said one of what would be many goodbyes.

When I finally stopped crying, there was a different energy I was able to feel throughout the castle. Voldemort had finally been killed, and the entire place had a feeling of utter peace and happiness about it. There was still an air of sadness, but there was also a feeling of hope in the mix too. As people began to filter back into the Great Hall, I sat up again and saw his family coming toward us. I decided to let his family have some time with just Fred, so I leaned over, planted a kiss on Fred's now pale lips, and whispered in his ear, so no one but him could hear,

"I'm going to leave you with your family for a little while, but I'll never ever let you go. I'll help your family, George especially, get through this as best as I can, I'll come to your joke shop as often as I can, and I'll laugh at Percy's attempts at jokes even if they aren't funny. And don't worry, I promise won't get together with any of your other siblings. It was, is, and will always be, you. Love you forever Freddy. Try and get Lupin to lighten up a little bit up there, too."

I got to my feet, hugged his family with dry eyes, and promised I would come to visit as often as they wanted me there. I saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione coming in as I made my way out the door. I hugged them all tightly, and congratulated Ron and Hermione for finally getting together. And yeah, I wasn't there when it happened, but hey, being around Fred and George as often as I had, I managed to figure out when Ron was with a girl even if he hadn't said a thing. I left the castle with dry eyes, and as I looked back I saw Fred's family surrounding him, weeping once more around him. I turned away, my eyes still dry, and Apparated away.

It's been several hours since I left Hogwarts and my Fred. I'm sitting here in my flat writing what was supposed to be a presentation for the meeting at the Ministry on Tuesday, but obviously that is not what it turned out to be. I haven't cried once while writing this, but as I look to my bedside table, where there's a picture of me and my loving boyfriend together, his arm around my waist and my head on his shoulder, our huge smiles laughing at something that was so funny at the time, I begin to weep once more. I turn on the radio where other witches and wizards are sending in messages to the fallen and their families, and I hear things like "We'll miss you, Weasley", and "You were one of the funniest guys I have ever known. The shop won't be the same. Rest in peace, bro", and several others I can't stand to repeat. As I hear all the messages coming in, I realize just how many others loved Fred, and how many lives he had touched and brightened.

The hole in my chest is there, and it still feels like half of my being has been ripped out of me. I keep reminiscing about all the wonderful times we had together, I keep wishing he was here to wrap his strong arms around my shoulders, let me know that he's okay, dry my tears, and then we'd share one of our inside jokes that no one, not even George, would understand.

And to close this up, I have a message just for my Fred:

Hey sweetie, I miss you so much. I love you, Fred, not a day goes by I don't miss you so much it hurts. I keep thinking about the times and jokes we shared, I hope you don't forget those times and jokes either. I know you never really liked the mushy stuff so I'll try to keep that on the D.L., I will never forget the look on Percy's face when we put a Cloaking Charm on that rotten egg and hid it in his ceiling and replaced his wand with a fake one….multiple times….throughout the same day. I hope you're in a place where at least one person understands your sense of humor. If not, maybe that mental link we had will still work even if we're in 2 totally different places. I think it will. I still go to your guys' joke shop nearly every day, there are so many quality products there I didn't even know you guys had been making! I've been considering putting that glow paste in Percy's zit cream so when the lights go out he'll look like the solar system, but I wasn't sure if that would be good enough. Any thoughts, dude? Seriously, I need your and George's genius to help me come up with these things. Sometimes it sucks to be an only child. Let me know somehow if you think of anything, I'm sure it'll be great. Love you forever Freddy, wish you were here. Lots of Love, "Cece" 3

People say change can be a good thing, but to be perfectly honest, I don't know if I can handle it.

_I told you it was kind of cheesy, but again, I was venting my feelings from the Post-Potter and Post-Fred Depressions, but I would appreciate a R&R for my first fic._

_R.I.P. Fred Weasley: Infamous Prankster, Partner in Crime, Big Brother, Wonderful Son, and One of the Best Characters EVER. 3_


End file.
